How to give feedback to a teacher who resists it: a middle leader’s guide

You have watched the lesson, written your notes and planned what to say. Ten minutes into the conversation, your colleague folds their arms. "That group is always like that." "You came in on a bad day." "I have been teaching for fifteen years." The feedback you hoped would help has turned into a defence.

If you lead a team, this will happen to you. It happens to every middle leader, and it is one of the main reasons good heads of department start avoiding feedback altogether. The good news is that resistance is usually understandable, often predictable and nearly always workable. This guide sets out what I have found works, both as a leader giving feedback and as someone who has received plenty of it.

Why do some teachers resist feedback?

Before you change your approach, it helps to understand what you are dealing with. In my experience, resistance almost always comes from one of four places.

Threat. Feedback on teaching feels personal, because teaching is personal. A comment about a lesson can be heard as a judgement about the person. When people feel threatened, they defend.

History. Some colleagues have been on the receiving end of careless or unfair feedback in the past. They may be reacting to a previous leader, not to you.

Disagreement. Sometimes the teacher genuinely thinks you are wrong. They may have context you do not have, or a different view of what good teaching looks like in their subject.

Overload. A teacher who is already stretched may hear any feedback as one more thing to do. The resistance is to the workload, not the idea.

Each of these calls for something slightly different, so the first job is to listen for which one you are facing rather than pushing harder.

What should you do before the conversation?

Most difficult feedback conversations are decided before anyone sits down. Three things make the biggest difference.

Separate evidence from interpretation. Write down what you actually saw and heard: "Eight students had not started the task after ten minutes." Then, separately, what you think it means. Resistant colleagues will challenge interpretations. It is much harder to argue with a specific, observable fact.

Choose one focus. If you arrive with six points, a defensive colleague will pick the weakest one and argue about it. Choose the single change that would make the biggest difference to students, and leave the rest for another day.

Check your own purpose. Ask yourself honestly whether this conversation is about helping the teacher improve, or about recording a concern. Both are legitimate, but they are different conversations, and colleagues can tell which one they are in.

How do you open a feedback conversation with a resistant colleague?

Start by asking, not telling. "How do you think the lesson went?" or "What were you hoping the students would get from the group task?" gives the teacher the first word and often brings out the issue without you having to name it. Many teachers are harder on their own lessons than any observer.

Then share what you saw, briefly and specifically, and say why it matters for students. Keep the focus on the learning, not the person. "The students at the back table did not start the task" is easier to hear than "you lost the back table".

Finally, make it clear what kind of conversation this is. If it is developmental, say so: "I am not writing this up. I want us to agree one thing to try."

What do you do when they push back in the moment?

This is the moment most leaders find hardest. A few principles help.

Do not argue the point straight away. Acknowledge what you have heard: "You feel that group is particularly difficult this term." Acknowledging is not agreeing. It simply shows you are listening, which often lowers the temperature.

Ask for their evidence. "What have you noticed works best with them?" If the teacher has context you lacked, you will learn something. If they do not, the question gently returns the conversation to students.

Return to the shared goal. You both want the students in that room to learn. Saying so plainly can turn a contest into a problem you are solving together.

Know when to pause. If the conversation becomes heated, it is fine to stop. "Let us both think about this and pick it up on Thursday." A second conversation after a pause often goes far better than a first conversation pushed too far.

How do you agree one focus and follow it through?

A feedback conversation that ends with "thanks, I will think about it" usually changes nothing. Aim to finish with one agreed action, written down in a sentence you both recognise. For example: "In Year 9 lessons this fortnight, check that every group has started the task within three minutes, and adjust if they have not."

Then agree when you will look at it together, and keep that promise. Follow-through is where trust is built. A colleague who sees you come back, notice the change and acknowledge it is far more likely to hear your next piece of feedback openly.

When does resistance become an underperformance issue?

Most resistance fades once a teacher sees that feedback is fair, specific and followed by support. Occasionally it does not. If a colleague repeatedly refuses agreed actions and students are being affected, the conversation needs to become more formal.

At that point, follow your school’s policy, keep careful notes, involve your line manager and HR in good time, and make sure the support offered is real. Formal processes exist to protect both students and staff. Used fairly, they are not a failure of leadership. Used as a first resort, they usually are.

What if the problem is how feedback has been given before?

Sometimes the most useful thing a new middle leader can do is change the feedback culture of the team. Observe for learning, not grading. Invite colleagues to observe you and give you feedback first. Share your own targets. When feedback flows in every direction, it stops feeling like something done to people and starts feeling like how the team works.

That takes time, but it is the most reliable way I know to reduce resistance for good.

A short checklist for your next conversation

Before: write down specific evidence, choose one focus and decide what kind of conversation it is. During: ask first, describe what you saw, acknowledge pushback without arguing, and return to the students. After: agree one written action, set a review date and keep it.

None of this guarantees an easy conversation. It does make a fair one much more likely, and fairness is what most resistant colleagues are really testing for.

Related reading: How to give feedback to an underperforming teacher, fairly and Why most observation feedback changes nothing.

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